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Marriages vs. Being a virgin

Once again I was having this really stupid conversation with a colleague over lunch. Both being Indians, we were pretty much bought up in conservative setups. Our vetti conversation veered towards marriage and virginity and we were discussing if each of us would marry someone who was not a virgin! My colleague said that being a virgin or not being a virgin is immaterial. All that matters is the person’s character yada yada. I was of the opinion that it depends up on the degree of comfort of the individual in question. My colleague further asked me, what if the partner has had previous relationships? How does that affect marriage? I responded stating, again it is an individual choice. Personally I might be comfortable with a girl who has had relationships before but that does not mean everyone would react in a similar way right? Each and every individual is entitled to certain expectations from his/her would be and the individual should search accordingly for his life partner. This was what I said. Again my colleague asked me how can certain people reject girls just because the girls have had relationships previously? I was like look, those guys do have those preferences and expectations of what they want their fiancee to be. My colleague was like in that case the guys are not being open minded. I again replied its a question of how comfortable the guys would be with the knowledge that their partner has had relationships before.

P.S: If at all someone is offended, I do not give a flip about you getting offended…:P


8 responses

  1. it totally depends on the people involved…if they both are ok with it, then what’s teh big deal…or if they are not ok, then they don’t move forward…as simple as that…i agree with you.

    December 16, 2009 at 4:29 pm

    • viswajithkn

      I did not notice your reply so far titaxy sorry about that..you are absolutely right

      December 22, 2009 at 5:55 am

  2. divz

    By your title I actually thought you’ll be talking about whether one should remain a virgin or get married, and I thought what’s wrong with this guy!

    Now that I’ve read it, I am relieved, at the least 😀
    And yeah, I agree with your viewpoint 🙂

    Here’s a question – who is harry in your URL?

    December 16, 2009 at 4:37 pm

    • viswajithkn

      I was writing this post when arnd 1 in the night. So did not bother too much about the title…:P Do not worry. I am perfectly sane and alright. 😀 I had an old blog which I deleted. I am a Harry Potter freak and just before the 7th book was about to be published, I thought why not give a shot and try writing something of my own (7th version). I started out and wrote a couple of posts and then gave up. since then once again my blog has become a place for my rants and complaints…:P

      December 16, 2009 at 4:48 pm

      • divz

        ohh ok ok
        cool idea though, writing your version of harry potter 🙂

        December 16, 2009 at 4:58 pm

      • viswajithkn

        Just that beyond a point i lost the patience to sit and think about how things would be!

        December 16, 2009 at 5:20 pm

  3. G

    I have friends (boys) who are in the process of finding a match for themselves with the help of their parents (arranged marraige so to say) and they seem to be of the opinion that they would not want to marry a girl who has a past relationship. Physical or not is immaterial. They apparently wouldnt want a girl who has been somebody else’s lover/girlfriend. Fine point, I think. But again take a look at your past I tell them. Most of these giys have had very serious relationships too. That doesnt seem to be an issue apparently. Looks like its a big problem when the girl has had a past, doesnt this issue seem like something BEYOND just comfort quotient or individual choice? I guess its more of a male ego issue than anything else.

    (Phew! That can actually make a post under the label- rant) 🙂

    December 22, 2009 at 3:52 am

    • viswajithkn

      Again you choose to call it male ego. I choose to call it individual choice. Common if a guy says that he does not want a girl who has had a history, he is entitled to his opinion. After all he is the one who is going to marry the girl and when not comfortable with the decision or choice he might take whats the point in proceeding? If the girls are not comfortable around guys who have had relationships no one is forcing them to pursue a relationship. But then in the case of your friends if the girls their parents find for them do accept the fact that their hubbys might have had a past too and are ready to marry then what would you say? that the girl is being forced into marriage? It definitely is comfort quotient and not beyond that. The girls are perfectly entitled to reject such guys who they think might have had a past(if they are not comfortable with the idea.)

      December 22, 2009 at 5:53 am

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