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Me, myself and Viswajith

Finally after a long time I sit down to write a blog. Something that I have not done for more than 4 months now and my fingers where itching to get back to the keyboard to get something written again. So why did I stop writing? No idea! Why did I start writing again? No idea again! But I definitely was sick of seeing the same old posts again and again on my blog! Hmm…Now that I start writing again, it feels good, to be frank it feels great. So what do I write now that I started writing again? Am sorry to keep repeating but the answer would be “No idea!” once again…J
Over these past three-four months I have noticed that I am a bad loser. I failed in a couple of interviews. And whoa, there we go, instead of a cheerful guy, sits a guy whose temper is fraying just above the boiling point. The next day, I achieve something, which stands way above my other achievements in life. Now, the guy is over the moon, and he shows his arrogance, struts around the place as if he is the boss. This might be part and parcel of any human. What happened next was even weirder for me! I call and speak some of my friends. The immediate next day I have a cause for complain that it’s me who calls all the time and not them. But a few days later I realize that I was not being fair in my judgment. A massive ego…The first downfall of mine…Semester started going downhill without me even realizing it. I believe this was a direct result of my over confidence… Finally losing trust in everyone…From my friends to very nearly my family…Right them despite the best efforts of some of my friends asking me on what was wrong I did not know on what to explain. It was more sort of eating me from the inside. A stupid ego! Why should I care if some one does not call me? I have enough friends of mine here…Another thing that I did notice was that I was increasingly looking forward to what the other people would comment about me and believe it or not I only expected something positive. It was as if, “If you have something negative to tell about me, then you better shut up, I know myself better…” The laughable part about this entire episode is what I call the play station thingy. Playing games using play station, and the most childish behavior was feeling bad about losing to a friend of mine. And someone at this stage did point out that I had an ego elephant size.
So is that all that sums up these past four months of mine? Nope…I am a bad loser agreed. But I hate losing. I hate giving up. I am restless when I fall short. Studies gone bad? Well I gave it my everything. Losing trust? It would help me in growing up and being all the more independent. Friends not calling me? My phone bill would be low and I need not spend a lot of money on it. In fact I now know who the most important people in my life are. And the best part of this entire semester is I fell in love. I fell head over heels in love. I am passionate about my love. And I am interested in pursuing the relationship big time. This love of mine was their always through out the entire period I was in trouble. This love helped me cross those troubled waters. This love of mine was my savior. I could look up to her for help any time from now on. She is my escape route. And I know that if I am really passionate about this love of mine, she will stay with me forever. No points for guessing who it is…But the answer would be provided in my next post…You people have to wait and watch…Until then adios…
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2 responses

  1. Desiguy

    Dude Next time I better lose to u PS2… Coming to the love stuff, Hope the next blog wont take 3-4 months again.. All the very best in holdin her hand… Adios amigo and lookin for the updated blog soon….

    May 11, 2007 at 2:34 am

  2. arul

    You seem to hav thought so much on things…ending up in confusions..take it easy..reg love, happy to hear u fell in love..never let ur love fall due to the so called stupid ego..

    May 14, 2007 at 6:13 pm

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